Rainbowheartstar’s Weblog

“The greatest effort is not concerned with results.”

Forgiving people :) January 22, 2008

Filed under: forgiveness,personal development — rainbowheartstar @ 11:59 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Whenever someone hurts me, I picture the person being hurt by someone else. Maybe yelling and screaming is the only thing they know. Or maybe they just can’t control themselves. What makes them any worse than an alcoholic, or a compulsive eater, or even a killer or a rapist. It is still the issue of control/ and what we’ve been exposed to that makes us do the things we do. Yes, we have been socially conditioned to think of some of the above situations to be worse than others, but in all reality, they are equal. Some people hurt others, some people hurt themselves, some both. But all of them are hurting someone. By holding on to your past, and not forgiving people, you are only hurting yourself. You can easily say “oh well, I had that same problem, but I sought out help/ or helped myself.” But the thing is, there was a detailed series of events that led you to that point of getting help, and you did. Maybe the person you are talking about was not led to that same desire to get help. Everyone is pretty much a product of all the things they have been through, down to the tiny details. If you look at things this way, you’ll realize that theres not one person who deserves to be punished more than another. We are all responsible for our actions, and everyone needs to stop talking about how much they hate other people, and start worrying about the opinion they have of themselves! And perhaps the people you hate the most are the people who are most like you. Love yourself and love the people around you just as much. This requires a WHOLE BUNCH of forgiveness and acceptance.. but makes life much more doable. For more info. on forgiveness, read Dr. Ben Kim’s article, How To Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You.
Kim also mentions Tyler Perry’s The End Of The Fury article. Both share my perspective on forgiveness, and I think it’s really helpful to see things this way. Abuse of any kind can be very hurtful, but it’s up to you to decide who can and cannot hurt you, and it’s up to you to accept that nobody is perfect, and we all have plenty to learn from each other. The world is full of many different people, everyone has some good and bad. The seemingly flawless personalities out there are just better actors.